After returning from my Japan/So. Korea trip on Wednesday, I was horribly jetlagged and in a deep psychological rut. I was productive during my trip—keynoting a Japanese digital rights conference for the organization MIAU, speaking at the Korean National Assembly to Members’ staff about digital rights and TPP, and throughout the trip, meeting with activists and reporters covering EFF issues.
But that trip took a lot out of me. It wasn’t just the work part, but just having to be “on” all the time. Talking to people. Figuring out where you are, how to get to that somewhere when you’re not too familiar with the place. Making sure you don’t get shafted or messed with while traveling alone. Fun, yes. But fucking exhausting. I managed to get to the office the day after I got back. But the day after that, I slept for 18 hours. I woke up a few times to make myself weird meals consisting of a carbohydrate, fat, and something sweet (i.e. toast with butter and jam, frozen hashbrown with olive oil and ketchup) for the sole purpose of ridding of my hunger so I could sleep moar. I had shit to do, TONS of shit to do, and I guess the realization of that made my brain want to crawl into fetal position and become completely useless.
I was able to temporarily stave off the anxious knots in my head, and was convinced not to ditch out on a trip to Lake Tahoe this weekend. I struggled to fight the creeping dread away, hoping it wouldn’t manifest itself in curt snippiness. It did anyway, a couple times. I made sure not to hurt any feelings.
The weather was awful on Saturday morning, but it snowed all afternoon and evening and today was a glorious perfect snowy sunny day. I managed to figure out how to go down some of the easiest runs on skiis without falling. A satisfying accomplishment.
I feel great now, besides the fact that it’s 2:15am and I need to go the fuck to sleep. I really mean to write something more substantive this coming week. Really.